This episode covers chapter 1 of the Fear is Fuel book that tells us what fear us, how it can be used as fuel, and how the components of it give us energy for everything we do.
1) History of flight (controlled by fear example)
4) Fear Triangle
7) Recap and close
Reed Smith 0:11
Welcome to the fear face podcast place where we control fear instead of letting it control us, tracking my personal Journey into Fear, hearing about journeys of fear from others using the latest neuroscience so we can fear forward.
On today's episode, we dive into the fear is fuel book, which was the catalyst that sent me down the path this podcast, fears is fuel, the surprising power to help you find purpose, passion and performance, written by Patrick J. Sweeney the second today, we'll cover chapter one, which tells us what fear is, why does our greatest source of fuel and how the components of it give us energy for everything we do? Let's go. If fear is fuel, that anxiety is the mule, the ugly jewel, that makes us the full loaded with stress, we can deal with less. If they smile, we dress a familiar caress, the goals have died, the tears have cried. Courage is inside. But it likes to hide. The pedestrians cheer. But outwardly we leer, face your fear, The stake is all you hold dear. I stated in the last episode that sometime in the first quarter of 2021 would record a book review of the fears fueled book. The more I started mapping out the outline for this podcast and kind of what my goals are with it, it became very obvious that I needed to do much earlier considering it's a pillar of the perspective I'm sharing on how we should view and use fear. This allows me to break up the chapters really pull out the good content and discuss them. And I need to cut a bunch of stuff out just to fit it in a digestible podcast. So every chapter will not need its own dedicated episode going forward. But with chapter one, covering what fear is, you know, it's really important that we get this defined, especially some of the terms. It's a very sciency chapter, I would say it's very important that we level set what these terms are. And as they come up to find them, and then I'll revisit them at the end to make sure that they're understood. Because as we progress through the book reviews, and also progress through the interviews I'm going to do and the episodes of my own personal journey, I'm going to be referencing a lot of the neuroscience that is captured in this book.
So without further delay, let's get into the book. It starts with an example of someone who was very successful, but let fear, really take control of their life, and how it really burnt them out and led to a pretty sad demise. versus someone with all the enthusiasm in the world that use their fear as fuel to be successful. And in that parallel, they're the ones that history remembers. An example we're going to look at is about manned flight. As most people are familiar with, you hear flight and the history of flight you think of the Wright brothers, and that is what we're talking about here. Orville and Wilbur Wright. Before they came into the picture, there was a man named Samuel Langley is a very famous person you've probably never heard of. He was a physics and astronomy professor at the University of Pennsylvania's observatory. Late 1800s he was a success with everything he did. He pioneered the designing introduction of astronomy telescopes created a plan for Universal Time. And he had the railroads adopt this clock synchronization system. He was fluent in English and French and was awarded the highest honors from the French aeronautical society. His his projects and successes continued. He decided to leave his university job and take a position as the assistant secretary at the Smithsonian Institute to help him Garner funds for more research for high expectations and that led to high anxiety. He began to allow ridicule from the press to get to them, and he had increasing anxiety over social events where he would be asked about the progress on his work. Over time, he started to only take projects that would have high success rates to protect his reputation. His anxiety was hiding a fear of the unknown and a fear of trying something new in 1896, after a successful test of his aerodrome number six plane which was unmanned. It flew for over 4200 feet and stayed in the air for over a minute. He secured a $50,000 government investment to escalate his unmanned flight to manned flight. He did not want to completely redesign his playing because that would take years to retest, or ask for help, because that makes them look like a fraud. So this is where things really started to come apart. newspapers around the world talking about his well funded project and expectations continue to grow. And Langley really found himself enjoying the spotlight, and being a socialite, traveling talking about his research. This led to him getting an additional $50,000 from some investors you may have heard of before, including Alexander Graham Bell and Andrew Carnegie. Raising money and getting press coverage became his primary focus instead of the goal of manned flight. And 1999. the Wright brothers wrote the Smithsonian Institute or Langley was working at the time, asking for all publications on aeronautics. They wrote to many agencies and successful people in the field. So where Langley was afraid to ask for help the Wright brothers from the very beginning, were not afraid to show that they did not know much about flight, but wanted to learn everything and be able to test with what was regarded as the best designs and research at the time. They landed on a test field and Kitty Hawk, North Carolina because of the natural elevations and flats so instead of having to spend money building that they found somewhere, when made the geography work for them, crashed over and over, but to not let the fear of injury or death stop them. As they progressed, they started to get more and more attention. They turned down investment offers because they feared outside control would deter them. So another big difference here where Langley really sought the limelight and the money. the Wright brothers really wanted to keep control themselves. As we all know, when somebody gives you a bunch of money, they typically expect something in return and in the investment world, it's usually in the form of control. As the project works out. They also decided that the designs the flight designs at the time were subpar. So they scrapped them and came up with their own flight designs. So again, another parallel though where Langley was scared to look like a fraud and redesign things and ask for help the Wright brothers even though it would take longer wanted to scrap the plans because they felt they could come up with something better. So they took advantage of an opportunity. 1982 Langley was mentally done. It had many failures, and his ego made them not admit mistakes or ask for help. He said he was done pursuing manned flight but due to the heavy government and civilian investments they pressured him to try again. In 1903, they tried again using his partner Charles mainly as a test pilot of arrow dome a crashed only after a few seconds in the air. They assured everyone that knew how to fix it with try again later that year. Langley refused to change his design, because he was incredibly fearful of change. So the second attempt took place, December 8 1903, and it failed in the exact same way as the first nosediving after a few seconds and crashing. A few weeks after the aerodrome, a failure the Wright brothers successfully launched four men flights in a row. The aeronautical journal stated, never in the history of the world had men studied a problem with such scientific skill, normal such undaunted courage.
Langley had a stroke and died a few years later, fear ruled him and later part of his life, giving priority to avoiding change instead of searching for opportunities. So this really stood out to me, not just because of the parallel between somebody that let fear control them, versus someone that controlled fear and use it as fuel really made me think about how many breakthroughs and discoveries just across the board and all, all fields and sectors haven't reached their full potential because whoever thought of them was being controlled by fear, so it never took the next step of being developed. So is it really a problem with these things not being thought of untested? Or do we have the resources and the ideas, but fear is stopping them from progressing? So the world remembers the Wright brothers? Langley has been largely forgotten. Fear is not an emotion, because the combination of reactions to sensory response can cause many different emotions. Think from general uncertainty all the way to terror. Fear Itself as the combination of inputs for our body's physical reaction to an event, tries to take over our central nervous system to tame us. But with practice, we get better at stopping this. And original trauma is planted in each of us when we were young, typically before the age of 10, or 12. This is what determines our fear frontier, which I'll define a little bit later in the podcast. How you process your experience that trauma, the time ultimately determines your courage later in life. Everyone's personalities are shaped by childhood traumas. You'll eventually find defense mechanisms that become ingrained. Figuring out your fear frontiers The first step to identifying fear they Using the right defenses to get better at everything. Example The author gives in the book is one where he was a young boy playing with a GI Joe in the living room with his parents house. There was an awful plane crash with low visibility, and the pilot couldn't really see where it was landing. And he came in low and short and actually hit the sea wall and it shredded the plane and just the footage the news showed, it's pretty graphic. So there was a very strong trauma associated his brain now with flying. And as he grew, that fear, not just maintained itself but actually grew. He would have complete meltdowns going to the airport, his parents, so much so that they could not fly and will get kicked out of airports. As he got older, high school, he missed out spring breaks in college. It's a good athlete missed out on national international competitions because of his fear of flying. So it really controlled him and changed the path of his life because he was incapable of getting on a plane from not dealing with this original trauma. Another example in the book is a navy seal. He interviews that talks about a childhood trauma where his home was broken into and his young boy, his family came home one day to find the front door wide open. And it ingrained a lot of fear and vulnerability, vulnerability in them immediately. And that sense of fear and vulnerability is what drove him to become a warrior to help protect others. So that was a main factor in his life. That original fear drove him to become a warrior to feel less afraid and help protect other people. Our own original anchor events if left unchecked, unresolved, will plant a seed of fearfulness within you that will have repercussions throughout your life and succumbing to fear continues. If you never learn to use fear, then you have an orientation of view of reality that will feed a lie of anxiety and dread. You'll be stuck in a loop that keeps courage out of reach. So how do we go about tackling fear. The first method given in the book is to tackle one fear at a time. Learn to face the fear, get used to your bodily changes and expose yourself more and more to that specific fear. These anchor events, I mentioned are tied to memories. And while we can never fully erase a memory, we can change the neural associations of an emotion with specific events. When we are traumatized, we form two memories at the same time. The event specifics and the emotions we failed. neuroscientists at Harvard University have shown that you can never erase what is called the semantic memory, which is the actual event facts you can do instead is write stronger emotional memory in the area of your brain responsible for what is called executive function. We can consciously recall specific moments, along with an original memory that was written with the help of two parts of the brain called the amygdala and the hippocampus.
They were viewing Dr. Mo laude from Harvard's neuroscience lab. He explained that rather than erasing old fearful memories, we create courage and face our fears, we actually write new, more powerful memories with more positive outcomes in an area called the prefrontal cortex. So speaking of memories, let's define what memory is and how it shapes our reality. There is no one true reality, just our individual reality made up of our collection of memories. Your reality is made up of all the things I've ever entered into your brains harddrive. Those memories make up all of your prior beliefs. And that is what creates your particular orientation to things happening around you. Reality is based on past experience, real or imagined, and current perceptions. If you want to change reality, you have to change your memories. Keep in mind that you can only change your reality and memory, not what other people think and feel. There are varying strengths of past events based on the power of the electrical charge between synapses in your brain. electrical charges and wireless brainwaves change strength of the emotional intensity of a memory. key point is we can create memories and populate our hard drive just by imagining them. The subconscious will see those as if they really happened. This changes your reality. imagined events are usually weaker signals that emotionally charged experiences that create lots of free energy which will define later in the book and activate the amygdala. However, high volume of small visualizations can help rewrite powerful emotions within reason. This means we can craft the reality we desire. So a good example here. You know, take three people so let's say myself bubble boy and as Jump instructor, I'll walk up to a Cliff's edge, August bubble boy would roll up in his bubble. Standing there on the edge of a cliff very out, we would, the three of us have had very different experiences. So we have different realities, different perceptions, we would all sense fear, we would all have some kind of fear. But the level of electrical and emotional charge associated with that fear would vary from person to person. So from the most affected, which would be bubble boy, bubble boy, being the kid whose parents think he's allergic and sick to everything, so they can live in a bubble and don't go anywhere and do anything his whole life, he's gonna be terrified, because he's never populated his hard drive with positive outcomes for being on a cliff edge. So he would be absolutely terrified, probably frozen in terror. Next step up myself, I would have probably had a sweaty hands, I would feel my heart thumping in my chest. But I know I'm not trying to jump off the cliff. So the fear would really just be you know, if I was to slip, something had happened. But I would hope that I would appreciate the beauty of the scene and not let fear completely take control over me. Then a step up from that would be the free jump instructor. He's probably standing on a cliff thinking man, this would be a sick jump, thinking about all the things he could do. He's also feeling fear, but it barely has any emotional charge. And based on the 1000s of jumps, he's done off of cliffs and out of airplanes. He's able to control this fear and stay in the zone where he gets the benefit of increased alertness, crease response time, without it, controlling him. So he's able to take advantage of that fear and use it for fuel to do the things he enjoys doing. I'd also like to mention here that, you know, we're talking about what memories are and how we shape our own reality, on how just thinking of things happening, as to your hard drive, just like really doing something. So we all probably know, at least one awful person in our life, if not multiple, if you have a majority of people in your life. feel sorry for you. Sometimes that's the situation we're in. And if you think how those people live their lives, they're they're going, you know, this science still applies to them. But it starts to make a lot more sense if you know, who just seems to live in their own reality. And maybe they're they're just always the victim. I never take any, you know, individual responsibility or accountability.
And maybe they're a hermit, they just kind of sit at home. And just always thinking about the worst parts of everything and everyone, we look at the science behind that you start to understand how they create their own reality and live in it. And it's a reality of misery, because they're only thinking of the worst parts of the people they know. And they're thinking of the worst outcomes. So while this is important to understand, for you know how a normal person or a net neutral person good person can improve their life. This also shows how the most miserable people kind of end up in those situations. Let's circle back to fear and how to directly attack that you get bolder by writing new emotional memories over the old scary ones. bravery increases when an original future vision outcome gets overwritten by the memory of successfully getting through something that was difficult, or that you expected to fill it again. So if there's something that, you know, the extreme side of the scale would be an outcome where you think of like falling or dying or being injured. If you have a fear of you know, getting a car because you might fridging it in a car crash each time you get in a car and don't have a car crash, you're filling your harddrive with positive outcomes, which is having a nonzero positive impact and change into your bravery, of facing that fear. may feel scared when doing these things. Realize that what you feel isn't your fault, and it's not good or bad. It's just your body's chemistry changing. being courageous when you feel that physical reaction is how you overcome fear. There are three types of fear we can tap into or hide from, it's reference to is the terror triangle and it's something that I'll be referencing a lot in the future podcast. So very important to correctly define this terror triangle. There triangle, three types of fear, physical, emotional, and instinctual. All three of these are tied together. Think more of like a pyramid. Not you know, think of like three stool legs, either each kind of supporting themselves and not attached. It's not at all how these are tied together. Think more of a triangle side of a 3d pyramid to where they're all kind of blended together, but there are distinct points. This is why conquering one fear does not automatically make you courageous for everything. You must be conscious of all three to be able to classify your fear. classifying your fears, helps you understand where in your reality they're coming from. Fears can have more of one type, and less of another, but they rarely are holy. Just one. So even if you face it, you know, you feel if you feel your body change, you feel that, that anxiety, you start getting physical reactions. You think, Okay, why am I scared of this and you map it to, let's say, the physical type of fear. Even though it's mainly mapped to physical, that doesn't mean that the source is purely physical, there's most likely a emotional attachment or instinctual attachment to that as well. The terror triangle also helps you visualize your daily energy levels. Because fears are specific to physical, emotional, and instinctual inputs. Battling those fears saps your energy, you start each day with three full tanks. So you've got to you wake up in the morning, you've got a full physical tank, full emotional tank and a full instinctual thing. What you do during the day will raise or lower those tanks, every decision we make throughout the day can be mapped to one of the three things, being able to classify the type of fear will help you keep your decisions balanced, and based on opportunity, rather than fear, you know, some examples of ignoring a call from a friend or family member that you really don't want to talk to. That's an emotional event, skipping the gym, the physical event, taking a different route home is an instinctual event. And another point here is, if we think about, okay, how can mapping those out really helped me is to really think about, let's say your job is very stressful. And you've really think through this, and you find there's a lot of emotional fear, tied into your job for various reasons. So when you come home from work every day, that emotional tank is already pretty well tapped out, you've already sapped all the energy, and let emotional think. So if you're coming home with zero emotional energy, do you think that's a good time to talk to your significant other about something serious that's been bothering you for a long time, probably not. You've already don't have the emotional energy for that. So if it starts to go away, that you don't like, then you're not going to have the energy to deal with. So this is how you can kind of map it out. And instead of kind of have things happen to you, and just forcing things to get done, is to really think about your energy levels, and how those map and start strategically attaching them to task to have better results.
So how do we help if our energy levels are getting sapped? What can we do? You know, can it go the other way? Can our per tank start getting low? Is there a way to fill this up, and we absolutely can, eating well, and exercising, it's a great way to increase that physical tank. If you're eating, eating like crap, sleeping like crap, and not really having any physical activity, you're, you know, your tank, the top end of your tank is already much lower than it could be. So it's very important to take care of yourself, physically, so that you have the largest physical tank to pull from. And for emotional, you're practicing love, happiness and gratitude people you care about, it's a great way to refill the emotional tank. So within the example I gave earlier of coming home from work, that emotional tank is totally sapped and tapped out. It doesn't mean you just don't do anything, it has emotional attachment to it. Thanks, maybe it's a good time to do something emotional, that would help refill that tank. So instead of doing something emotionally stressful, something emotionally positive, maybe that's throwing the baseball with with your son outside or talking to your daughter about how our day was, you know, there are way there are positive benefits to these. The opposite is also true. I mentioned about the physical you know, if you don't eat well exercise, that physical tank is going to be have less capacity every day. And if you're the type of person that holds a grudge and really stays angry, you know, you're you're fighting those battles, even subconsciously throughout the day. So if you just wake up mad, and you stay mad all day, not only are you constantly sapping that emotional tank, you're waking up with it, again, having less capacity in the first place because of just lingering, lingering negative emotions. Some important supporting research and talk about two researchers now the first Dr. Shane O'Mara is a professor of experimental brain research at Trinity College Dublin. His research shows that we have two very quick acting systems in our brain that make instant snap decisions, one system that recognizes familiarity of a task or a person. So when seeing a person or subconscious instantly assesses how threatened they are. The other is how difficult something is so competent in person is with a certain task. The snap decisions are on the history. In different neurological pathways. We If they're also filtered by our experiences, the other researcher Dr. Joe laduke, from New York University is a specialist on fear and anxiety. His research shows that our feelings of fear and interpretations of courage come from our physical reactions, personal interpretations and past memories. Each neuron can be thought of as having a bell curve of action, each person will be at different points of the bell curve on millions of different neurons. A doe believes the person's personality is the sum, and multiplication of all these individual bell curves. This is the part of the idea of neuroplasticity, the fact that our brain can change at any age. Two important takeaways from today's research are that we should never beat ourselves up for how the neurons are distributed, not our fault. It's only our physical makeup. Secondly, we can change those bell curves and the power to each neuron at any age. So feeling scared or weak and change if we want it to, we need to understand our level of fear and what part of our brain is in charge at any given point, fears and input with three sources. physical, mental and emotional. These sources feed our fear response, and it can range emotionally. Now I'm going to list out of the escalating tears of these emotional responses. So first, you have chill, second is uneasiness. That uncertainty and anxiety and dread and anguish, panic and horror, shock, then terror. prefrontal cortex is what we want in charge is that allows us to observe, orient and act optimally, and the dread anguish range. So in the very end of that escalating Tier I just talked about, that's where the amygdala takes over for most people in the flight. Fight, freeze kicks in. This is your fear frontier, or you stop thinking in an effective calculated and rational way. Start reacting with your survival response. Moving out of your fear frontier allows you to still act rationally when in a higher state of emotion.
So the goal is not to not feel the emotional responses to control your reaction to them. So if we think of it, we take two people, we compare it to the list of emotional ranges are listed. As somebody that's always been a very anxious person, they may feel that amygdala taking over, you know, between between uncertainty and anxiety. So anytime they get anxious, it triggers their fight flight or freeze response compared to somebody else, who may very well you know, if they their job requires a very specific type of training, you know, they may not really feel that trigger, until they get to the panic or horror stages so much later on down that emotional reaction path. And even when the fear is felt, so when they're in that fear frontier, the differences in how it's handled from the first example, you know, the amygdala kicks in, fight, flight freeze, and that person freezes the other person, the amygdala kicks in. They realize how their body feels out changing, and they stop it from completely taking over control and force that prefrontal cortex to stay in charge. So this is a good point to kind of talk about courage. Courage is the ability to recognize fear, and compartmentalize it or you can either be unhampered by it, or better yet, use it for the ultimate fuel. Courage requires fear. So, courage from a scientific standpoint is when we enter our fear frontier, we have that emotional event, or megillah tries to take over and how we react in that state determines what's added to our hard drive and our brain and it's gonna, you know, shape our reality. So think of a special forces military person, extensive training, physical courage, they can jump out of airplanes barely have a reaction. You know, compare that to somebody that's going skydiving for the first time with a jump instructor strapped to their back, very different fear responses, because they've been trained. They keep jumping and jumping and jumping. And each successful jump. They're building positive outcomes. They're having less than fear response, getting better at controlling it. So that's physical courage, not being afraid to jump off airplane, also physical courage, you know, they've been trained hand to hand combat. So anytime that happens, they're much better control than, say the average Joe. Even in combat when they get in a combat scenario, life or death. They've had very specific training, to have courage in a scenarios and not let fear control them, but use it as fuel, using that heightened awareness response time to their advantage in combat. But physical courage is not the only type of courage. We talked about the three inputs of fear, physical, mental, and emotional. So those are also types of courage. The soldier we're speaking of has about as much physical courage as you can possibly have. But none of his training has been with for emotional courage. None of it has been around how to handle relationships and approve relationships. So this soldier, multiple divorces can't seem to maintain a relationship doesn't have a good relationship with his kids can't really connect. And if you measure, she measured their physiological changes. So if you were to hook them up to some machines, measure how they react, jumping out of an airplane, and then measure the responses. When their significant other has a serious conversation with them, you'll see that this sounds crazy. But they actually have more of a fear response, you know, sitting at a kitchen table, talking about their emotions and how they feel than they do jumping out of an airplane or being in combat. Because their specific training has only given them physical courage, and they've had no training with emotional courage. interferes can be as bad or worse than the fear of outer threats. So to wrap things up for method one, which again was tackling one fear to time, learn to face that fear, get used to your bodily changes and expose yourself more and more to that specific fear. The downside to that, though, is it does not give you a full mindset of courage and curiosity. You get really good at facing that one fear and there'll be some carryover to similar fears. But just like we talked about the example of being able to handle all physical fears, that doesn't equip you any better to handle emotional fears.
So this is where method two comes in. Which is recognizing physiological changes in your body created by the amygdala hijacking, focus on turning feelings of fear to sources of fuel, and using the base or logical framework. Example of method one is what I'm just starting my journey out with on this podcast, I mentioned in the introductory episode that I was honest about a fear of how to route about getting professional certifications. While that is a fear, no, it doesn't cause physiological physiological change in my body when I think about it. So the difference between method one and method two is method one is kind of cherry picking the things we kind of know we're afraid of, or we find out that we're afraid of but don't require us to do the hard thing, when we feel the physical changes from from actual fear. So method two would be for me, is to be aware during the day of all the things I interact with all these external outputs, something happens. And I feel that fear response kick in, is to be aware of what caused that and to push through it in the moment. That's what creates that strong neurological, neurological connection. And over time, we'll start to replace the negative items I have stored in my hard drive that made me feared that output in the first place, molecular biologist and Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard recorded lectures around the world on happiness and was called the happiest man on earth by Time Magazine. With the brain scans to back it up, he uses fMRI scans to show the different parts of the brain that are activated for different types of fears and happiness. Cards philosophy is that we must be able to on demand, develop a state of mind that deals with the ups and downs of life changes, we need to build our own inner resources. And myself, and most of us, we have never been shown how to discover our fear frontier and push it further out on the performance spectrum on all three sides of the terror triangle. We have never been told that we need more fear in our life, and it is the ultimate fuel, or that the three components of it are our source of energy as well. In the United States, more than one in five people are clinically diagnosed with the mental illness, including depression or anxiety. The US Psychological Association lists 500 defined phobias, 33% of the population will be affected by mental illness in their lifetime. So clearly applying this method in a population where your mental illness is running rampant, especially depression and anxiety. This is enabling the person to be as self sufficient as they can and rely on medication and external help as little as possible. Now, there are absolutely circumstances where those things are needed, and they help but the goal should always be to help the person become as independent as they can and not rely on something else or someone else. To have courage in all aspects of life. And a big part of that is knowing that controlling fear is also protecting yourself from others using it on you. This enables you to live a life that is created by you, instead of a life that happens to you. Fear only helps you survive. Opportunity is what makes you thrive. One of the primary goals of the early part of this book is building what the author calls fear fluency. And I think it's really important for us to have for those of you that are along on this journey for me, too, if fear fluency is, you know, being fluent in fear, so understanding fear and being able to communicate with others and kind of language we all understand. So that's why it's so important that some of these definitions and terms you're clear on since I'm going to reference them, and it's important to understand those so to help you take executive action on things in your own life. So to recover some of the things we've talked about today. important one is fear frontier, that's where you stop thinking in a controlled manner. And flight, fight or freeze kicks in. So that escalating chart of emotions I gave from chill to terror, aware that amygdala takes over where you kind of lose control. And that primordial part of your brain kicks in, that's where your fear frontier is.
The amygdala, small glands at the base of your neck, controlling, fight, flight freeze, really your survival, prefrontal cortex, that's the one we want control. big part of controlling fear is forcing that prefrontal cortex to take action over the amygdala. It's responsible for planning complex cognitive behavior, personality, expression, decision making and moderating social behavior. So we can see why we want that and control instead of just basic survival, the hippocampus. That's where memories learning and emotions are. That's one of the bigger neuroscience breakthroughs was, historically they thought the hippocampus contained all memories. And now we have a much better understanding that it's much more complex than that. And parts of memories are stored in other parts of the brain, our terror triangle, three types of fear, physical, thinking of a fear of guns or drowning our heights, emotional, public speaking, getting older, and abandonment. instinctual about how you feel when you see spiders or snakes. That's your thing. Three fear inputs, physical, emotional, and mental. And the two methods for using fears fuel method one, to tackle one fear at a time, learn to face the fear. Get used to your bodily changes and expose yourself more and more to that specific fear. And then the next step up method to recognize physiological changes in your body created by the amygdala hijacking, and focus on turning feelings of fear to sources of fuel. And to reiterate about courage, that courage requires fear. That's the case. Because if we feel neutral about something, it didn't require any focus or emotional response to move forward. So you must first fear something to have the courage to overcome it. I also think it's important to mention cowardice, and what the definition of cowardice is. And Merriam Webster cowardice is a lack of bravery. So that fits very well in what we're talking about. And this should make you a little uncomfortable. Somebody who called me a coward, I get pretty upset, over being honest about what's going on here. You know, you can be neutral about something. But if you recognize it consciously recognize that you're fearful of something and you don't take action, you're being a coward. Each small step we take to recognize, embrace and conquer our fears is one step further away. From cowardice into bravery, courage. Now, if you listen to this, and you're thinking, well, I don't you know, I can't think of something I'm afraid of, I'm not really afraid of anything. First thing I would say to you is, pay more attention to how you feel all throughout the day. Are you really kind of numb and neutral throughout the day? Are you are you just not kind of in tune with what's making you upset and thinking critically about why that's actually happening? Second point, maybe the more important one is, is if you are never afraid of anything you can coast through every day, you're not feeling fear. Maybe you're living a bit too comfortable for life. Are you looking for growth? Are you looking for opportunities? Be honest with yourself, some direct actions using the neuroscience. Parents, expose your young kids to as many things as possible, so they populate Their database with as many positive outcomes as possible, making them less fearful and more courageous. You know, the type of parents that don't let their kids fail and never let them do anything on their own, what kind of kid are you, you think you're raising based on this brain science, if you're never letting them populate their database, with real outcomes on their own, or every time something goes wrong there, they expect somebody to always be there to fix it for them, does not make them independent, which I mentioned earlier podcast should really be the goal. relationships, as difficult conversations, whether it be with your boss, co workers, friends, family, significant other kids, whoever stops, you keep putting off letting fear control you. The first time you have that talks the hardest, recognize that fear, step into it, and you're going to come out better on the other end, self talk very, very important. envisioning outcomes and scenarios in your head. Very, very important. The more feel fearful you are of something, the more important it is that you dedicate time to talking yourself up about it.
And after you do it successfully, or, or if you fail, and envision as many scenarios as you can. Not just the good ones, the bad ones do if you only think about the good outcomes, then you're not preparing yourself to handle the worst outcomes. So this is not one of the feel good self help approaches where you're awesome. Nothing's your fault, just do your best and you're gonna have a great life. Don't believe that's true. And I think Sam supports that. Realize failure happens. We don't have control over everything. We can control how we act, and respond to everything. Thank you so much for listening to this podcast. And I really would encourage you to take action and not just listen, I'd rather have five people who write things down and take actions and try to implement these things than 500 people that just listen to the podcast and don't do anything. Those of you that have shared what some of your goals were and how you've used this podcast already to write some things down and try to be honest with yourself those fears. I appreciate that so much gives me so much more value out of doing this podcast when I'm knowing I'm making some kind of small difference. For those of you that have goals, or have a fear, if you want help with accountability, you're comfortable with me giving you a shout out in the podcast, send it to me, send me some details around it. And I will absolutely at the end of one of the episodes and give your name and the fear and help hold you accountable to reporting back on that in the future. love to share a future update about how you conquered that. Maybe have you on the podcast talk about how you've conquered that fear. The next chapter of the book will cover while we need to forget what we think is an important part of conquering fear. Until next time, be courageous. Cheers.