In this episode, we look at three examples of famous people who embraced their fear frontier and used fear as fuel. We wrap up looking at the fear is fuel framework and even dabble in a famous speech!
As always, I sprinkle in a little homegrown poetry to start things off.
Reed Smith 0:06
Welcome to the fear face podcast, a place where we control fear instead of letting it control us. Tracking my personal Journey into Fear, hearing about journeys of fear others, and using the latest neuroscience to fear forward. On today's episode, we see three examples of people who were controled by fear, potentially use it as fuel to foster success. We'll then dive into a famous speech, wrap up talking about the four components fear is fuel framework, let's go.
Courage ever longing.... lead it to the light, humble, admit wrongdoing.... Focus to learn instead of being right. Fear ...so often near a tightly knotted rope potential, with a credential an endless sea of hope. To be truly happy and successful, you've got to recognize your fears and use them to power greatness. If you miss the opportunity to do so. You'll be imprisoned in a cocoon your entire life, never embrace all that life has to offer, and all that you are meant to bring to the world. celebrated figures throughout history have experienced breakthrough moments of courage by facing their fears. His epiphany has come in many different forms, and yours can too. The good news is that if you miss this opportunity to use your fear, there will surely be another one. Oftentimes, the event seems terrifying until it's over and you look back on it. There is no courage without fear. If you don't feel fear and you take action, there is no courage and that deed is just action. If you feel fear and act thoughtfully in the face of it, you are living a life of courage. Once you recognize and use fear, the life changing results are always the same. Even if the path getting there is different. You funnel your fear of not only change your life, you'll change the world by bringing your true gift to the rest of us. till you find the courage to be the authentic you, you will not be able to find your true self to be too afraid of what others think, or bad things can happen, or how things might change if you actually become you. You are not alone. Millions of people have yet to discover their authentic, honest, and courageous selves. Not knowing your true self is a prime symptom of unprocessed, hidden fears. Our first example takes us to the University of Southern California in 1987. A student planned to prank one of his classmates during an American literature lecture. So he dressed up as agender and busted into the middle of class causing a scene going on and on about how he was sent to clean up vomit. Everyone was shocked and laughing and he was able to escape out of the room before any trouble came about. Later that day, the teacher ran into him in the cafeteria and told him he was Welcome to stop buys that character whenever he wanted. Six weeks later, this friend among others went to a comedy skit show with a world famous improv comedy shop called the Groundlings and Los Angeles California. During the skit, the nameless pretend janitor was caught up on stage and it was a complete disaster. And his moment of opportunity, he froze, unable to speak, frozen by fear. Later, he realized that being a full onstage in front of people wasn't nearly as bad as he thought it would be. He had a fear of public speaking but this single action had forced him to face it is quoted saying even in a moment of abject fear and failure, I found it utterly thrilling to be on stage. This was when he realized his true calling to be a comedian. He found the hidden fear he had not realized he had the fear of failure and rejection on stage. For the next three years, he took classes to learn the art and skills of comedy and stagecraft, even having to move back in with his parents after college graduation and barely making money he was having the time of his life. This pretend janitor is failure of spontaneous improv is Will Ferrell have his own admission. He still has stage fright, but he uses that fear as fuel. This also disproves the common fallacy that you only have one shot at your chance of a lifetime. Second example goes a little further back in time about someone who was a member of the New York State Assembly, who came from a rich family. He lived in the shadow of his father and was miserable just following orders. It didn't feel like his own man. He wanted to make a change but had a hidden fear at the time of success on his own. He was not exposed to something like Will Ferrell stage fright to a catalyst came along in the worst of ways. His wife and his mother dying on the same day he was in his fear for Realizing a fear of loss had kept him from reaching his true potential and abandoned politics to open a ranch in North Dakota. His revelation around loss and impermanence helped him learn how to live in the present, enjoying every moment of life and doing his best to live a life of courage and integrity. He said up to ranchers and 1000s of acres, but he eventually returned east. And Teddy Roosevelt was the change man, a rise from New York Governor, leader of the Rough Riders adventurer, and ultimately the US president who did more for the outdoors and parks than any other president history. Roosevelt shared his belief that is not the critic who counts but the person who gets in that arena and experiences both victory and defeat. Part of his speech in 1910, delivered at Paris's Sorbonne University, commonly quoted as a man in the arena goes as follows.
It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. credit belongs to the man who was actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who airs who comes short again and again. Because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. But who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls, who neither know victory nor defeat. Our last example is about a shy girl from Abilene, Texas, quit law school and was told by her very successful Father, I'm not sure you'll ever amount to anything. This person is Carly Fiorina, who ended up being the first female CEO but top 20 company in history, and in 2015 ran for president. fear of abandonment and disappointment seemed to motivate most of Carly's early decisions. after quitting school, she became a secretary to a real estate company. She felt like a letdown comparing herself to her parents success. She became married and feared that her life would end up being quote, making peanut butter sandwiches and picking up kids from soccer. Carly moved to Italy with her husband and began teaching English to Italian business people, which helped her learn to take risk and yearn for challenges and difficult assignments. Working with business people motivated her to want to work in the business world. So she faced her fear of pursuing success and leadership in a male dominated industry. Callie went back to school for a Master's of business from the University of Maryland and ended up working for a company that sold phone systems with government. One of our classic stories was stuffing socks into her pants, and then boisterously going into meetings with all the good old boys, telling all the men that her equipment was the same as theirs, which caught them off guard made them laugh and ultimately made the sale. So use this attitude momentum to climb the corporate ranks. All three of these examples use fear as fuel. For us, it doesn't matter how much money we have, or where we were born, or how much education we have. Although those can clearly and certainly make things easier, and or more difficult. The fear is fuel framework and still be applied. first component is fill your fear. Figuring out how your body manifests fear physically, let you know when your amygdala and limbic brain are active. And when your subconscious is trying to take survival action. The amygdala and limbic system activation create physical changes that the author calls fear tails, is fear tails are physical sensations that let you know you're primed for peak performance and about to react. They also warn you that you have to take control quickly to clear your working memory and resolve the uncertainty so your amygdala doesn't make you fight or flee. Learning how and discerning when this happens helps you understand when you have to take action. second component, find the fear to feel it. The second step is purposefully putting yourself in fearful situations to exercise your survival system, make it stronger, and then learn how to clear your mind. So you create an environment that becomes the precursor to happiness and greatness. You have to get used to the feeling of fear to turn the same feeling into excitement, motivation, fulfillment, and fuel. You have to be able to shut off the amygdala when it tries to take action. This takes practice. third component build blocks of courage. Optimize your mind and body to effectively deal with scary situations. Find a block to use fear for peak performance, turn survival driven fearful situations into opportunities to unlock superhuman performance. personally enjoyed reading and learning about these three examples. I think it's important to point out that all three examples that are given to us in the book, they do come from, you know, I don't know the financial status of Will Ferrell's parents, but you Obviously, a well off enough to attend college. So, you know, all three of these folks came from, you know, at least middle class if not, you know, to affluent families. So that does make, you know, it's worth pointing out that when you have that kind of backdrop to take risk, I think that it makes them inherently easier. So without that safety net, I think that makes people that turn fear into fuel even more impressive, because there is more risk involved. When you don't have that safety net. You don't have people you can fall back on don't have, you know, money from somebody else you can depend on.
I liked, I liked Will Ferrell, the Will Ferrell example, you know, I'm funny guy, I'll make people laugh. I'm very witty, meaning that my comedy comes from and being in the moment and just responding to what people say. So if I'd like to sit down and try to write funny stuff, I would fail miserably. So one of my fears, is actually improv. I lived in Atlanta for a few years. And I thought about, they have some great some famous improv schools in Atlanta. Those too scared at the time to try it. definitely regret there is one of my fears I'm going to tackle on this show as part of the 12 months of tackling fears is I'm going to somehow get involved in improv. So with COVID stuff going on, who knows how much in person opportunity, there'll be for that. But if I can at least do it online. That's definitely one of the goals I have for this year. So I'll fill some personal attachment to that experience. I'm glad that will ferrell did not give up. After that embarrassment going on stage. And a little insight into how that worked. You know, when you're a goofball, it's really easy to get in character and just kind of make fun of yourself. But when you're when you're standing up there, yourself having to be funny. that's a that's a different ballgame, you don't have that mask, you know, it's just you. For the teddy roosevelt example, he did a lot of great things. But he also, you know, is anybody, nobody's perfect. I mean, his wife that passed away, had given birth two days previously. And when he quit politics and went to North Dakota, he actually abandoned his daughter. I think he left her with his sister at the time. So definitely, nobody's perfect, didn't want to paint just a perfect picture of him. It's important point out he certainly had his challenges. But what a What a powerful example of somebody that just didn't want to sit, sit in politics and be an errand boy, to kind of go out west find himself and come back and end up being the president united states. Pretty impressive. Also, if listening and reading that portion of that, man in the arena speech, didn't give you goosebumps, you didn't feel that one in your jellies. It's wrong. The final example with Carly, I thought it was really impressive, because there's kind of multiple, multiple stages of fears, you know, the fear of disappointing your father. And there was, you know, when you move countries start doing something new, that's scary, to actually start teaching English to business people when you're not really a business person, and then to see an opportunity to get into the business world. And at that time, you know, much more dominated by men. So of all of all the things she could have went into, you know, the business world was definitely not the easiest. And then to have a job where you're going in on your own, to present to these, you know, a lot of lot of government contracts, so a lot of high ranking military people, a lot of males, you know, tough guys tend to go in there with confidence, and, you know, win him over and not just make the sale, but use that opportunity to kind of hone your craft, and then use that to obviously be a successful CEO at Hewlett Packard, or she went and then again, 2015 to run make it run it president. So kind of the culmination of all those skills over the years. mentioned in on the first blog post on fear face calm, I would like to do some small business shout outs to people you know, in my circles, so local community, friends of friends, extended circles through social media, anybody that's got a business we know small businesses have been hit really hard, you know, at least through the last year a little bit longer than that. So want to do my part, help people. Not only that, you know, may have had struggles through the pandemic, but also shine some light on some companies, businesses and people that I believe in and want to support. And the first one here is definitely one of those. Send me apparel company on Facebook, look him up, send me apparel company.
Double great shirts, you can buy there support a good cause. Please go there like page, buy some shirts. So be part of a much larger campaign on the podcast to bring awareness to supporting the some of the silent warriors that answered the call for our country. Combat overseas, and over the years have been kind of been left to deal with the fallout from that on their own. So I'm excited to have the opportunity to draw attention to that. Going to be some interviews on here with some experienced people in that arena. And I hope you all stick around and help me support those folks as best we can. That wraps up Episode Four of the fair face podcast. Thanks so much for listening. do have a couple of announcements fear facebook.com is live. So central hub, everything your face. Be sure to check out the blog, they're keeping them very short, adjustable, fulfill the need to write something long. I certainly will. But even those really short really easy to read, so be sure to check in there. Also the fair face YouTube channel, especially for the interviews, I will have all of the full video interviews and also the clips I shared on social media interviews on there. So if you want to rewatch or miss Danny got a few minutes when your lunch break at work. Want to support your boy. Take a look at what's out there on your face YouTube channel. Follow us on Instagram. Follow us like this isn't just a one man show. Follow me on Instagram. At beer underscore faced. Facebook is at fear faced Twitter at your face. Thank you so much. Live courageously